Two simple reasons domestic abuse perpetrators should not be on our screens.
Trigger warning: We will describe a domestic abuse related assault within this blog, please take care of yourself and only read on if you feel able to.
Introduction
Women's Aid have publicly condemned the inclusion of Gary Goldsmith in Celebrity Big Brother, pointing to his conviction for domestic abuse. What made matters worse however, was the timing. Just after his entrance ITV launched their new ‘Facing it Together’ domestic abuse campaign with Loose Women. In response to the criticism, a Big Brother spokesperson stated that all contestants undergo training in language and behaviour – however given ITV’s own campaign quote which states “whether you are a survivor or a friend, we are facing it together” – this response not only completely misses the point, but it actually contradicts it.
Let’s start at the beginning - What happened?
The assault
In 2017, Gary was convicted of assaulting his fourth wife, Julie-Ann by punching her in the face. We hear about assaults so often that we can become desensitised so it’s important to understand the nature of what happened and not shy away from the severity. The taxi driver who witnessed the assault believed Julie-Ann had been knocked unconscious as they recounted how she had "fallen backwards" after the punch and remained on the floor with her eyes closed for about 15 seconds before she woke and got to her feet crying.
The conviction
He pleaded guilty and was fined £5,000 and sentenced to a 12-month community order with 20 sessions of rehabilitation. It's important to clarify that while we advocate for rehabilitation and believe in the potential for perpetrators of domestic abuse to change, it does not mean that they should be given platforms on reality TV shows. Rehabilitation requires genuine remorse, accountability, and a commitment to change, which cannot be adequately demonstrated through a brief stint on a reality television programme.
Whether Gary has been successfully rehabilitated or not, is not the purpose of this blog. However, at the time of his sentencing, the QC defending him commented: "He is deeply ashamed and concerned about not only his behaviour but also the implications of the adverse publicity". He has made several references since being in the house about his intention for being there in which he has referred to himself as Kate Middleton’s ‘bad uncle’ and that he wants to change his public reputation. Both examples infer a level of narcissism in regards to his concern about how he is perceived publicly, moreover any form of remorse. A hypothesis which may not be completely unfounded when we consider his Ibiza Villa which he named “Maison de Bang Bang” which has the initials GG emblazoned on the wall, along with a mural that read: “It’s Gary’s world, you just live in it”.
Reason one: It helps perpetuate the ‘nice guy’ persona.
Gary might be a nice guy. He might not be. It’s not the point. (For clarity, in our world ‘nice guy’s’ don’t assault women, but you make up your own mind). The point is that this focus on a ‘nice guy’ public persona is not a new concept in the world of domestic abuse. Perpetrators of domestic abuse often present a façade of charm and amiability in public settings, which sharply contrasts with their behind closed doors persona. This stark dichotomy can be unsettling and perplexing to those who know them solely in their public persona, as they may struggle to reconcile the image of the ‘nice guy’ with the reality of their abusive behaviour. This phenomenon, commonly referred to as the ‘nice guy’ or ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ syndrome, underscores the insidious nature of domestic abuse. Numerous studies and anecdotal evidence have shown that perpetrators of domestic abuse are adept at manipulating their public image to garner sympathy and enable their abusive behaviour to continue unchecked. In a society where its already so difficult for victims to seek help and support, the ‘nice guy’ persona only confounds the barriers they face. By allowing a man convicted of domestic abuse an opportunity to prove how much of a ‘nice guy’ he is, certainly isn’t helpful. Whether he is, or isn’t.
Reason 2: It traumatises victims and survivors.
The impact of domestic abuse on survivors is devastating. This case was no different. In her victim impact statement, Julie-Ann said she had been left feeling "extremely anxious and very stressed, and suffering panic attacks". The presence of abusers on television can have deeply distressing and lasting consequences for their victims. For those who have suffered at the hands of their abuser, seeing them showcased in the media can trigger a range of intense emotions, from fear and anxiety to profound trauma. Furthermore, the presence of abusers on TV sends a chilling message to all victims that their pain and suffering are inconsequential. It undermines their sense of safety and security, making them feel as though their experiences are being dismissed or trivialised. For some survivors, seeing an abuser on television may even deter them from seeking help or speaking out about their experiences, fearing that they will not be taken seriously or believed.
Ultimately:
The inclusion of individuals like Gary Goldsmith in shows such as Big Brother can have detrimental effects, not only on the victims of their abuse but also on society as a whole. It sends the message that abusive behaviour can be overlooked or trivialised, undermining efforts to combat domestic abuse, such as ITV’s own campaign. In the show’s own words ‘GET GARY OUT!’ all seems a little late, as Gary should have never been selected to go in.